here we are again but i feel ok
just guilty just guilty for leaving my votex
disappointed
when i felt like i held it together so good
yesterfday and i wasa so close and then i just
lost it i love
i left my integrity i made problems
i made problems
to protect myself
to protect my separate self
because i feel attackked too
i feel like no one’s on my side
but its ok i knw its just the story its
just the narrative and i have ti
the
try again try again to not care try again to
oot care to let it go forever try againt o give up
try agai try again to say yes to life
try again to say yes to life
wutn
but i nenver get what i want in ever get what i want
and that’s why i want to avoid
that’s why i dont deign to send the message
that’s why i quit i quit
im done im done i quit im done im
i quit i quit life i quit i quit life
i can’t anymore i can’t anymore
i quit
im tired im tired of trying im tired of being like
this i just want to have a good life to enjoy life
iq uite i quite
i quit
i quit i quit im done
and i never have to go over there again thank god
they dont need me no one needs me
no one has anything to gain from me being there
no one has anything to gain
from my presence
and i neither
i have nothing to gain
i can just quit i can just quit
i can just
call it qutis i can just call it quits
i quit i quit im done im done i quit
i quit its eay to
easy to quit its eay to quit its easy to quit i wnat to have a good da
i really do i really want to have a good day i want to enjoy my life
i ant my life to be easy i dont hwat
want to be likethis
everyt single little thing
i didnt ask to be like this but then it happens
it
and i can’t get over i
every tiny ittle thing
everyt tiny little thing
she doens’t need me doe
she doesn’t care about me
she doesn’t care if im there or not
she desont’ care idf
if she ever sees me again
no one does no one
has anything to gain
the work never works the work never works thew rok is
bullshit the work is bullshit
this work is bullshit
god is full
bullshit god
is
completel bullshit
all of this is complete bullshit
all of life is complete bullshit
they dont even know my name
is this who i am is this who ia m
is this
how i want to lie is this who ia m
is this
who ia m is this who ia m
no
no this is not who ia m this is not
who ia m i ge to be who i am i can
always be the real me i canalwas
let the resat go i
i have tofind me again i have
to remember who iam again
and i will i can just give up
i quit
i quti
i quit
i can’t do it iany
it anymore i can’t do it anymore
iquit
where is the real me i dint
i dont even know the real me
anymore all i know is thie
this fake version of me i dont
even know the real me anymore
i don thev
even know who ia m any more
i cant feel good i cant feel good
i dont kknkow how to feel good i
hate mysefl i hate my life i hate
everyone around me i hate
every breath
i hate sitting here i hate being awake i d
hate everything i do i hate everywhere i do
i hate doing thiw
this work it doesnt work nothing works nothing works
nothing works
who am i that cares who ia m
am i that cares who am i to care who am i
to care a
who am i to care i dont have to
i releaase i releaes i release attachment
i
releaes seeking i release caring i release caring
i know my real self my god self is still here somewhere
i know ht ethe
the real me is somwehre
somewhere i now i
ill find her again someday
i can trut what is i can
trut how
trust how i feel right now i can trust howi feel right now
just ride it out
i can have a good day i can enjoy
i can enjoy
i cantu
turn the boat i can turn the boat i can enjoy
the day for me i can enjoy the day for me i can let the rest goi
im mad im mad im mad
because life isn’t giving me enough god isn’t evve
giving me enough im made because im
insecure im insecure
that’s all it is
im not secure in my god self
imnot t
totally confidnet in letting go and letting god
but i knwo ill get teh
theri know i can get there it
i always come back around i c
always come back around i always come back around
i know i ow
i can do it and nothing matters
it doesn’t matter how i am it doesnt’ matter what i did
it
it doesn’t matter what i am
it doesn’t matter what
who i am
how i act
what i do i know i know that i can jsut din
do something else think about something else
remember who i am remember who ia m
the only thing missing is god
i left my integrity and thats why im suffering im
looking outside of me i
im lookking fot
outside of meand i nkwo i knwo
i am aware i am aware and thats all i need
myfulfillment
is baaseed on that and i know i know i can
let it pass i love that i cana
let it pass i love tat i get to gh
hae fun no matter what i love that
i get toenjoy the day i
get toenoy the dy i get to say yes to life
i
can switch
to pa
a positive outlook i knw i can i knwo i can i know that life helps me i know that life loves
it helps me every thorn beceoms a rose
i know this i knwo this
i now tis eay
easier to choose love
and happiness its eayt
its so much easiser to a
choose that side of thew ave the
wave to not care to not care it
s eay i know i can do it
wont help
looking for what i dont want to see doent’
helps
arguing for my shortcomings
for my what i dont waht
want doenst help i know t
all this i know all this i know all of this
i know that go si
god is right here with me that
i have so much and i dont havve to be
put it all together i can just choose to feel good now i can
can dho
choose the feeling hr gith right nwo and then its there
just choose gratitdue and allow life to floow
follow and i know i can do that i know i can do that
this work sl
always rowrk the feeling work the
warenes
awareness work the letting go
work the awareness work awreness
always works
awareness always worsk
admitting im seeking always works
i
i’m looking for somehing to mmake me feel god
when god is right here im looking for something to led me
to god when god is right here
its right here
the thing i want is awayra
alreayd here is tal
its al
already here and i know that its alway
already here and i nowthi
that i forgot bu now i remembe
i for
i forgot but now i remember
none of it is real and that is
why ts important to keep up the work that i
is the only part th
where i foget i start to think its real
but i know its not i know its not
real i know nothing is real i know its all me
i know this it snot
outside of me the
only
only
only
only
thing
anyone can do
is
i choose
i choose i choose i choose i choose i choose i choose i choose
i choose to be the perosn i want to be
i choose to be the peroisn
i want to be and i’m so grateufl i can
work on myself i can let it go i can let it
fucking go let it fucking go its n
never going tnot h
to happen it nothing its nothig more thatn it is
letit go let it go let it u
just be comshteing
soething beautufila
keep up the good work keep p the good work thef lowing
work the lf
love work the the love work the me work its not me
she is me tha
that is me i am that i know this i know thi s
i am that
i know this
i am that
i know
i know whe
and yet i keep pretneding i dont
but now for sure this time i really do and
and at least i get to feel the
feeling of being back of todin
doing thew ork of riding the wave
im so
gateufl for what i have for the life i ahve
that i can work on myself
that i can be a cool perosn that i can do my
own therapy
that i am aware
that its only me and i know that i can
be the person i want to bei know
that i can be the perosn i watn to be i lov that
ig et to love
learn to be the erps
personiwant to be i know tis me i know
its me iknow tis m i
me i know its me i know tis me i know i can
break the pattern
break the cycle
i knowt he feeling i know the feelign i know
i can drop it right now i nowthat
that’s the real that’s the real work im doing i
i love that i get to i love that ig et to do the work i love that
i feel the feelng i love the feeling of the feeling comeing
coming through i love that i know i know the version i prefer
i know the versoin ip refer
i know i do
i dont need antyhign i love that im
designing a feeling and life helps me
i know thatim desigin a feeling and life helps me
i know that im desigin ign a feelign and life helps me
i love that i get to i love that i get to
allow life to be
i feel it i feel the truth i remember the truth i feel the
truth i remember the truth i
allow my heart to sing i allow lme
me to love m i nkow the way god loes me i k
allow me to love me the wya that
god loves me i ca
accept eveything that is i know that everything is perfect
i know i can do it come
one
that’s not me that’s not me that’s not me
and when i see myself
whe
if i was to see someone else doing that
that’s not me and im grateufl i
that i get to see the person i want to be that
ig et to be the perons i want to be that
i am awrae that i can drop it i can drop it i
cia nd r
can let it be what it i ic
can let it be what it is i know that i love that ig et ti lovee that
i get to let go
god compelte let go and let go
i love thatl ife hel
helps me life
hleps me know life helps me reach life helps me
remember love
life helps me remember love life
lhps m
helps me remember love
i prefer to have fun i prefer to allow life to unfold
i r
prefer i prefer to let go of control
i prefer to let go of control i prefer to let
go of to
control i prefer to haverr fun
i prefer to release i
prefer to be a cool person
to
to want
i prefer to want to be around myself
i knwo i can do i inow
i know only god is misisng i know only god is misisng
i know that
when im acting likethis
im looking for godim lookign for god and god is right here
so i d
never needed the other thing
becuase god isright here
god is always right here god loes me
god is amused by my life
by thte t
the things i think i can chagne
change i know the truth of life i know the truth of life i know i cam
the one and only creator
and i love that i get to c
to see it get to be it i get to e it
b
et
be it i am that
it is a good one it was a good one im
lucky i know how lucky i am i know how lucky i am i kno
how
how lucky i am i know how lucky i am
i can do i i can do it
i can forgive myself
i can imagine it the way i want it to be i
can be strong i can handle it i can
trust god i can deel
feel the feelign now i get to choose
the feleing and tha’s all there is
i get to feel the
feeling now and that’ all there is
its just for fun and i know
the breath in makes the breath out i know and i trust
it i know i know i know i trust
how far ive come i bless how far ive ccome
i cn look for what i want to see i can
do thi work until it works i ge tto do this
wro un
util it works and it always works i knwew
i knew i knew i wat
was letting go dna i thought i didn’t need it but
that
its fun when its fun and i aget to let it
just be fun i know tomorow is a new day i know every day
is a new day i know
i know every day is ai knew
a new day i believe in myself i believe in myself
i believe in love i know
i know when i left my integrity i know
i know it was that maess
that message i left my integrity when
that message came in i lost
completely lost my shit
for what and it was nothing and
then i invent a whole non existent sage
whe
saga when i could be having fun
a whole non existent sage
when
saga when she didnt do anything
but try to say good morning so sweetly
so sweetly
and what do i do i fuck it up i fuck it up i fuck it up
i take it the wrong way i take everything the wront
wrong way and i ruin i ti r
i ruin eveyrthing i ruin everything i
ruin everything i hate myself i hate myself yes i ahte myself
i ruine verything
the feeling is the secret and im
tired of pretending it isn’t
i know i know that
i know i know the feeling drives eveything
and if im looking otusid eof me
thinking something outside f me
is real then that measn
ive forgotten the one truth
the feeling drives and the molecules follow
i know this is truth and
at
at a ccertain point i can decide o stop stuff
suffering and im so grateufl ia m aware
of how to stiop i know ow t
how to stop soffer
suffering and i get to choos to do it over and over i love
that i get to learn over and over and it always gets easier
i love that i get to vve
be a good person i love that i get
to become a better person
through
god through knowing that god i in every
everything i know that the work works the work works
wthe
the wor
the reading works the wo
thy
wrint
writing works i know ths i knwo this
i know its helps me i know is important
to me i know
its important to me
i know i know the one truth i know
i know i release all seeking and allow life
that’s all ic an ever do that
that’s all i can ever do there’s nothing to
be found in seeking i know there s nothing to
be found in seeking i lvoe that
i c
get to do it over and over with confident
because i know its only
me and when i swithc
so
does everything else i love that
i et to remember who i am that
life always helps me i know that life always helps me
i knwo i can do it i knwo ic an do it i know that
i can do it i know that i can do it
and i know that id o it but
by releasing attachemnt
i get to release attachment
i lvoe that i get to i know
i love that i know how i love that i know how to dirve with
with
the feeling and look for what i want to see i love
that i
get to practice constant gratitude
i love that i get ot i love that d
i get to practice constant
gratitude i get to practice constant gratitude
i get
to practice love for no reason
i get to be the soruce i
get to be the one who love i get to love
elt the rest go is that how i watn to be
such a jealous and bitter perosn
and that’s not who iam
and im
grateufl to life for showing me im
grateuflto life for showing me
becuase i lo
love is all around ove i s
isa ll around i get to choose how i feel about life
ig et to choose how i feel
about life and life show me
shows me life shows me th
me that love is all aroudn live
life shows me that love is all aorund
life shows me
life shos me i know i kno i can lead
i get to elad with the feelng i get to wake up
feeling good i get to do this work
becuse i get it works i get to
keep up the good work i d
get to do the work for me i get to se
to see myself i get to be awrae o fm
of myself i get to
to be wra
awrae of myself i know
i think the good outweighs the bad
i think im a good person i think im
pleasant to be around i think
im fun
i know im fun
i know im fun
i knowi’m
i know i’m kind i know i’m loving i know i knwo
i know they love me i know i nkow they do i know they
aghas;lknasl;gnkas
a;ldskfka;dslfkmasdklfjsdklfj
i wish i w
could break free
i trust the shackles of my own creation
i trust the i trust the fu
unfolding
i feel sad and i kow its my own fault
at least i can just allow myself to feel sad and i
dont have to fight it at leasat i can just
allow it at last i can just allow it
i wish i felt good i wish i felt heppy i wish i wasn’t attached
i wish i didnt care i wish i didnt care i wishe i didnt care i wishe
i could have fun i wish ididnt care iwishe i didnt ccare i hate
that i care i hate that i let myself i hate myaking someint
out of nthing
nothing knowing im mamking something out os
of nothing at
least i can always talk to god i can always come here and talk to god
and god loves me and understands me
god knows what im going through because its its fault!!
THANKS GOD FOR NOTHING
oh you mean putting exactly what you wanted right in front of you
because you wanted to feel this way you wanted someone to love
tou watned to love someone you couldnt have you wanted it and i gave it to you
and no you’re mad at me!
i’m mad i’m o mad i care i’m so mad i care
im so mad
i let it get to me not that i even let it i ust does
and it makes me so mad
that one th
little thing what that idn’t even a thing that i made a thing
i kno it started with thet
the message and the the message again
and
im tired of living like this
i want to punish others for the way i feel
i want to remove myself
so i dont have to feel pain i want to never see her again
so i dont hae to
feel the pain of missing her i just want it done
and then ill never have to miss her again
and i can go back to my normal life
wher ei wish we had someone to love together
im sad because its not what i want it bo
to be because im saying no to life
im sad becase seh didnt hug me right
not the way i felt i deserved
the way i wanted to but i have to admit
its just not like that i need to admit
its just not like that i
i need to let it go forever
i can just focus on god and ill be ok
ill get through today all i ahve to
do is get through today
all i have to do is gt through right now
all i can do is
be here now that’s all i can
that’s all i can do that’s all i can d
that’s a
all i can do that’s all i can is
get through this now and then this one
i cn do it
i can do it i can get through it i get
get through it
tomorrow is a new moment
im brateful
graetfult o let it go to just be
to release
grateful for the release
grateful for the release
i have to let it go i have to
let it go i have to
i can’t believe i care
i know when i left integrity
i cant believe it was just one
little thing like that can send me sprialing
and im really disappointed in myself
that tha it
that is the case and it makes me want to just
give up it makes me not want to be around anyone
because of how sensitive i am and it makes
me wnat to just sit in the house do
so i dont get hurt
so i dont hurt myself so i dont hurt myself
it makes me want to protect myself
it makes me so so sad
all ica n do i get through this one moment
be ok in this one moment all ica nd o
is be okeay
in this moment let it go in this one moment
let it go in this one moment
i awnt to hurt her becaause she hurts me
and she doesnt even know what dhe does
but she hurts me
just be existing she hurts me
she breaks my herat just by existing
so i want to break hers so she can hurt too
because she makes me hurt
and its not fair
because i didnt get the hug i wanted btcause
im not loved ecuase no one oloves me no one
wants me around im disappointed
that life is the way i wdont want it to be
im
disappointd that i care im really mad i care
i m mad that i can m
im made that i care im mad that i dont care
that i stay plotting my revenge
i hate that i hate her becuase i love her too much
i hate that i care i hate that i let a person
affect me and its not even a person its an idea of a person
and i knot its eayt o just let it go
but i insist on running it over and over
wnating something to be that nver
never will and i know i have to give up that part
i have to give up that part
i have to give up
why am i here to feel et
better i want to have a good day and just love
but i cant love because i feel that im ano
am not loed
and so i want to hurt
i am hurt so i want to hurt
i am hurt so i want to hurt
i am hurt o i want to hurt
i h
i hurt so im going to try to hurt soemhtone
else
anyone else so that they feel pain too
so that i don thave to hurt as bad
becase soemone else is hurting and if i can make them hurt
then i can feel better becausee that means they care
if i hurt them
im hurt because she got soething i didnt
im hurt because i care im hurt becaue i wanted it and id idnt get it
im hurt because i care im
hurt becaue i care and im tired of caring
im here
im here because i want to feel better because i dont want to care
and i know that i have the power to
to not care to just let it go to act as if
to
because im believing something i know istn’ true
i know that i
feel bad because im believing something that isn’t ture
i know this i know this and i know its so eay
to let ti go to not care
to bring my attention back
to call it back
to release it to remember
im already totallyf ulfilled
when i am aware of the god self within me
as my total fulfillment
i am totally fulfilled
the tao does nthing the tao does nthing the
tao does nothing
i love that i dont have to care i love
that i can drop it that easily i love that i nkow that
tis not me i
know that’s not me i know that i nkow
that’s not me and its easy to return to integrity to not
care its easy to not caret pr
prolbmes
problems its eay to acccept its esay to accept the truth its easy
to choos to feel how iw atn to feel its easy to let it go
its easy to let it go
but i dont even wan to be around her because she
makes me feel bad so i dont even want to be
around her
i can just cut her loose i can decide not to think
orcar
care about her at all i can just
get thorugh
tr
get through today and move on with my
life i c let
it go forevver i can go through the motions
and have fun no matter what happens
and not
depending on anyone else
i know that my joy isn’t outside of me
i know that
god is not outsiide of me
and i know that god is all i need
i knowt hat god loves me
and will take care of me and hug
me and i never have to
think or worry about anything
besides my connection with god i know this
and i get tch
to choose to feel it i get to cchoose
tor t
true
return to god in evvery moment
i don thavve to
pretend to feel somehting id ont
just accept everything that is
just
accept everything that is right now
accept this moment
and move on all i can is talk to god
welcome god focus on god kknow that i am
already fulfilled
all ic an do is know that i am alreayd fulfilled
all i can do is know that nothing
outside of me will evverr
be my source and to re
release myself from caring
i get to focus on the god within
i gt to focus on the god within
therefore
my consciousness of the presence of god within me
is my supply
my consciousness of the presence of god within me
is my supply
my consciousness of the presence of god within me
is my supply
when i am aware of the god self within me
as my total fulfillemnt
i am totally fulfilled
i am now aware of this truth
i am now ware of this truth
i have found th esecret to life and
can releax in the kowledget hat the
activity of divine abundance
is eternally operating in my life
i simply have to be aware
of the radiation of creative energy which is continuosly
easily and effortlessly pouring forth from my divine consciousness
i am now aware
i am now in the flow
the radiation fo creative energy
i have to choose how i feel and
i have to choose how i feel
and it
has to be free from anything outside of me
its esay to chooseet o be
free its eayt o c
easy to choose to be free its easy t
to
to choose to be free form the shackles
of other people s
behavior i love that i dont
care i love that i can rust
trust eveything that is i know that i can trust everything that is
im here not leaving my integrity
not creating problems
i
i’m here not creating robll
problems im here not ccreating problems
i m here not creating problems
i’m here doing me i’m here doing me
and that’s all i can do is be aware i am aware
i ama ware
i am aware that i am affected im aware that im annoyed
i’m aware that i’m left out i’m aware that it affects me
it makes me want to punish people
it makes me mad i’m aware that ia m
am mad i’m aware that i am mad
i’m aware i’m aware im making problems
i dont have to make problmes i dont have to ccare
i can deeply accept everything that is i can
appe
accept this day for me i can enjoy this day for me i can
feel the flow for m e
i can do the work for me feel the flow for me i can
feel good go
for me enjoy the day for me allowt he work
to flow for me
i can feel good now and nothing can stop me i can
get to feel good now and nothing can sotp
stop me i can choose to feel good now and nothing can
stop me i get to choose
to feel good now and nothing can sotp me
from
feeling good its eayt o feel good its eay to not th
let things get to me its easy to not care
its easy to not care
its easy tnot to
its easy tot turn
turn the boat its easy to put my attentio on somehting else
its esay to put
my wattention on something else
its easy tnot to care
its easy to see it for what it is
its wasy to let the rest go its easy
to nt care
create problems
its easy to not need to change a thing
tis easy to ease and flow
its easy to feel good and havve a good day
its eay to
feel good and have a good day
no one did anything wrong itsme its
its only ever me its ino
only ever me wanting to punish her for
something she didn’t even do
when she was really doing exactly wht i wanted her to do
im just disappointed
im dispapointed i care i guess that ‘s the real work
thea’t that
the real work i just want to have a good day i just want to have a good day
i wnat to feel good i want to hae fun
i can feel good i can hae a good day
i can
feel good i can feel good i can
let it all go dna h
and have a good day its eay to have t a
a good day
im only punishing myself
for caring that would e all it would be
and then i would hae to work
to be
get back to where we were
because i wanted to punish her form
something th
she didn’t even do
but it hurts all the sam e
its hurts
its easier to love its easier to feel good its easier to have a good day
to have fun
and it just doesnt matter it s
its fake its looking fr problems
and i dont care i reall dont care
i d
really dont care im happy im happy
im getting what i want im
always getting everything iw ant
im always getting everything i want os
so i get to be happy its eyas to flip the switch
its easy to flip the switch and sa
say thank you becusee im getting what im
want i
its easy to flip the switch and say thank you
becuase im getting what i want
to imagine its eay to reimagine its easy
to feel the te
the feeling now and that’ why im blessed to have
something affect me so i can see
how easy it i to not let it affect me
to have the day i want to have
i am aware of the choice i amwek
make in every moment i am aware that
i cn just let it go e
copletely i can depely acccept eveything that is and
tis so easy to to dthat and move on
its not
so easy to not create problems
its so esay to remember who iam to have fun
and let eveything go its
so easy to flip the switch
i really dont ccare is the thing
an di bless life i bless the life that
ea
teaches me i dont havve to care
i dont have to care
i dont hae to
to ccreate problems were
where there arente any and i love that
i kno i love that its easyt o allo to let it go to let it go
to have a good day its eay
t
to have a good ay
i want to have fun i want to enjoy the day i want to enjoy the say
day i want to feel good an
and thoht
nothing happened i dont have to uigl
guild build it up i can just let it go
i can let go i can
let go i can let it go i dont hae
to create problems i dont have o care id ont have to
carete plr
problems i dont have to care
i feel depressed ifeel sad i feel o
lonely i feel lonely a
i feel alone i feel like i dont have anyone
no one understands me
no one cares about me
just what i can do for them
they care about me
only what i can do for them
i feel depressed i feel sad i feel lonellye
i feel lonely
and i dont have nayone to talk to
who will listen and not be mean to me